Of Curiosity and Hormones
by applecherry
Summary: How do we torture Sasuke-kun, let me count the ways.
1. Chapter 1

**Of Curiosity and Hormones**  
"_Sasuke-kun, I'm hot, bothered, and bored!"_

"Flaunt it, baby!"

Sakura was practically jumping. Sasuke was… squirming. It was going to be a long walk home.

He readjusted her, but Sakura's hold to his neck was just intangible. Her other hand opening his shirt's buttons isn't helping either, and he got his hands full, literally.

"Sakura, would it kill you to hold still until we get home?" Yes, it would.

"You know, a good dose of gossip is actually good for your health. It cures all bad cases of curiosity." Prying eyes were everywhere. Did you think his appeal would go down the ranks after he married? I didn't think so, too.

"I'm just giving answers to their question. Like this one," she pointed to his now bare upper chest, "they wanted to know if you keep chest hairs or not." He glared, she beamed. "Now, they know!"

He readjusted her again, raising her up a bit higher, thinking wishfully it would cover him.

Alas, it did not.

"They were even wondering if you purposely style your hair like that, or if you wear perfume, or do you apply cream at night to keep your skin like that…" And she listed it out animatedly while he carried her, without any care in the world.

Pop!

"Oh! And of course, the million-dollar question, 'Boxers or Briefs?'." She laughed merrily. "I guess only I know the real answer to that. I've seen them first hand; and I'm not sharing answers!" She kept laughing; at her realization or at his face, nobody cares.

"Alright, I get it. They love you so much for it."

"Oh they love me alright," she proclaimed smugly, "I'm their best source of gossip!"

So they made it home as peacefully as possible…

But it didn't end there.

The moment he stepped in their not-so-humble abode, she jumped out of his hold with her good leg and hopped off to the kitchen.

He supposed she was just getting a glass of water so after undressing to informal wear, he turned to leave for the garden… but it doesn't take THAT long with a loud ruckus to get it, right?

Oh, what joy he felt when he came in the kitchen!

…NOT

It was _beyond_ dirty. There was a WAR happening there. Flour, sugar, eggs, some gooey mixture, and everything was everywhere! She got chocolate on her fingers and cheek, strawberry jam on the sides of her lips, colored sugar on her shoulders (her lopsided loose shirt made that possible), and… was that sprinkles in her hair?

Yummy.

_Ehem!_

"Aa, aa, aa!" She raised a chocolate-covered finger. "Before you say anything, the defendant would like to, uhm, defend herself!"

She cleared her throat.

And pouted her strawberry stained lips.

And looked straight at him with _those_ eyes.

"I was just trying to fix a snack, Sasuke-kun! I was a bit hungry and I thought you might want some too after carrying me home. I was just having a little trouble because I always trip, and I'll clean this up, I promise." She gave a sweet smile before she started to jump around in an attempt to clean up.

"Sakura, stop bouncing around. You've already sprained your ankle. You'll be breaking your leg next."

"But I promised to clean this!"

"I'll clean it."

Pout. Look. Silence…

Sigh. "Do extra chores when you're better to make up for it."

"Would you carry me to the bathroom then?" Sakura childishly asked.

Childishly, meaning very child-like, sitting sloppily on a stool, licking herself up unpretentiously, not caring that she looked like a dessert waiting to be served.

That move got quite a reaction from him. From _all_ of him.

"Then you'll have to accompany me in the bedroom afterwards, the kitchen, and everywhere I want!" She smiled innocently at the thought. Too innocent.

"Of course, you'd have to carry me in your arms like you did a while ago." She bit her lower lip and pressed a finger on her chin in thought.

He grunted. Too cute.

"Should I break my leg then, Sasuke-kun?"

It was HELL. His personalized hell.

…

…

…

Unfortunately for him and yay for us, no, his torture doesn't end there still.

... ... ... ... ...

If you were baited by the summary, I promise you will see it next chapter.  
This is sister fic to _**Of Curiosity and Boredom**_. Check my profile for details! The next and final chapter will be posted (hopefully) anytime next week.

**つづく～****See you next chapter!**  
Review if you may. Constructive criticisms welcome. Reasonable flames accepted.

**Written**: 042409

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_**Of Curiosity and Hormones © aPpLecHeRrY™ June 2010**_


	2. Chapter 2

Unfortunately for him and yay for us, no, his torture doesn't end there still.

It continues when she walks down the stairs, clad in tights and a tank top that barely covers her bulging belly.

You see, the matter of fact is, Sasuke was carrying his wife home because said wife threw a tantrum at the Hokage's office about a deal on maternity leave and sprained her ankle in the process.

He looked at her incredulously. "Sasuke-kun, it's summer! You don't expect me to wear those frilly maternity dresses, do you?"

While a feast is presented before his very eyes, he managed to look away (amazingly enough). "Stay in the garden if you like. Just let me finish here," he flatly said.

You think that would make her go? Of course not.

And so the giddy Sakura pulled a chair, sat by the counter-top, and trailed her husband's smexy working body with very hungry eyes. Who's the predator now?

As efficient as he was, the previous war-zone was now slowly becoming to look like a kitchen again. Oh, he worked those muscles, all right. Those flexing biceps when he's reaching, those firm buns that seems threatening to pop when he reaches down to get something on the floor, those trickling beads of perspiration glazing him. It was definitely something to watch. Nothing beats HD and 3D like _reality_.

"Ne, Sasu-kun, there're still chocolates and sprinkles left over, right?" He stopped to look at her. She smiled a lazy smile. "I'm offering, you can eat me up!" She started to stand, a finger on her lips, as if in deep thought. "Or if you want, since you just cleaned up here in the kitchen, we can play in the bedroom instead!" She was bouncy. Again. "But I like it here in the counter top, you're easier to reach and I'm easier to accomoda—"

What do you think happened next? He took her then and there? Carried her to the bedroom with the said ingredients in hand?

Nope.

Sorry, none of the above.

Swiftly, he took her in his arms for the second time that day and carried her to the living room with Sakura squealing with joys of triumph. There, he deposited her onto the couch and cushioned her with loads of pillows before heading back to the kitchen.

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Blink.

Ehhhh?

So then, the responsible, tortured husband frustratingly tried to hold his composure back, mind set to clean up the remaining mess, when he heard sobs starting, promising to get worse every second.

Oh no, not the waterworks. Please.

Step by step, he prepares himself to face the dilemma that awaits him. With one final step, he faces the pink sobbing lady massacring the army of pillows that once had cushioned her.

"I'm big as a whale that's why Sasuke-kun doesn't want to get kinky with me anymore!"

Oh the drama.

An exasperated sigh escaped him and he walked to pacify his poor, sex-depraved wife. He took her former position on the couch, inclined at one corner, and held her between his legs, her head burrowed on his chest, held in place by his cheek. He continued to rub his palm up and down her side while his other hand held its place in her growing womb.

Her hubby's ministrations somewhat calmed his erratic wife's sobs down to just occasional hitches.

"Sasuke-kun, I'm hot, bothered, and bored!" Her vexation was evident. "You don't understand it… This boredom, it's enough to drive me crazy!" Tears threatened to leak out again. "What am I supposed to do in one month! It's like sentencing me to house-arrest!" Sasuke couldn't agree more. She had the term right on the dot.

"I understand why she forbids me to take my hospital shifts anymore; I might pick up something bad there. But why did she have to take out my academy schedules too?"

This one's easy. "It may stress you out too much," he supplied. That was one way of putting it. Truth be told, they were more afraid for the safety of the students. Who knows what kind of _educational_ words might come out of her at this hormonal-driven state.

"But what am I supposed to do here?" she whined.

He shrugged. "You can spend more time with your garden." It earned a rolling of eyes from her. "I am so not going out there with this heat."

Sakura wiggled out of her husband's hold and stalked behind the couch opposite to him, placing her hand down with a thud.

"I am a distinguished medic, one of the country's bests, dammit! One month inside the house will make me rust to disintegrate." She huffed. "A shinobi on house-arrest without weapons? What kind of maternity leave is this!"

Sasuke sat up. "There are many reasons—good reasons—why Tsunade-sama ordered weapons to be out of your reach."

He looked up at her. Crap.

"Oh. You mean this?" She was twirling two kunais on her fingers.

Shit, shit, shit! He cleared her stash thoroughly yesterday, right? Yes, he was sure. Where did she get those, then? Where had her hands came from?

"Sakura, you're hungry, right? Now, if you just put those kunai down, slowly, I'll make you something good to eat." Oh my, was he trembling?

"Hmmm." She was definitely uninterested.

"Didn't you think sensei's logic is a bit off?" She walked out behind the couch posing more shuriken in her other hand.

Oh hell. She had more secret stashes than he knew.

"How is this dangerous?" Tok. Fwip. Fwip. Tok. Fwip. She produced more arsenals. "You're one of the top Anbu around, of course it's going to be easy dodging these!" Tok. Tok. Tok. Bam. Fwip. Fwip. Bam.

Oh yeah, easy as hell.

Now, the living room looks worse than the kitchen had. And it's not only the living room, even the responsible, tortured hubby looked like he'd been through several world wars. If we look to the other side of the room, we see a sparkly, bouncing woman, blowing dust off her fingernails, yielding more weapons, as if mocking him that she had more secret stacks he didn't know of.

Aaaaaaaaaand he snaps!

"That's IT." He got off from being pinned on the wall and scarily stalked to his bouncing wife. "If you are not going to put those weapons down, present all your remaining stashes here, and _behave_, I promise the least I will do is tie you down the bed and make you watch Naruto's videos _all day_."

Boom! Tok. Tok. Tok. Tok. Fwip. Fwip. Tok. Bam. Fwip.

BOOM!

She poised herself, determination overflowing, a hand on her womb. "Suki-chan, your Papa is turning to be a very mean man. Just hold tight there, alright? Mama's gonna break through the window and make a run for it!"

**終わり～****FIN****  
**Review if you may. Constructive criticisms welcome. Reasonable flames accepted.

And that is IT! No more sequel, this is the end. PROMISE.  
Thank you for all the support! Again, I'll do some shameless plugging here: this fic, _Of Curiosity and Hormones_, is sister fic to _**Of Curiosity and Boredom**_. Check my profile for details!

_youknowwhoiammwahaha_: No, I don't think I know you. Though I have an inkling idea… Sino ka nga ba? :))

Happy Independence Day, Pilipinas! Nawa'y gamitin natin ang kalayaang nakamit sa ikauunlad ng ating bansa. :D

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_**Of Curiosity and Hormones © aPpLecHeRrY™ June 2010**_


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